Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Featured Artist: midgetparts

WARNING: I am about to fully misrepresent our new friend Allan. We had a stimulating conversation via the internet, and in my infinite wisdom I decided it would be smart to not remember the simple task of saving it. I copied the things we said that i could remember verbatim, however it's not much, and apologize profusely to Allan (who is a totally rad guy even though you'd never guess it from this interview), and everyone else who thinks this sucks.
Please check out the artwork as well as the links below, and enjoy the eye candy.

Name:Allan Bjornaa
Age:31
Current residence: Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada

How long have you been doing your artwork?
About 4 years....professionally(as my job) about 5 months

So what do you do for a living?
I am an artist. Plus i make t-shirts

Are you going to have any t-shirts on Midget Parts?
Yeah, next week. I’ve got a couple designs.



Full Gallery: http://midgetparts.deviantart.com/

"air"

see full work at: http://midgetparts.deviantart.com/


"fashion statement"


see full work at:
http://midgetparts.deviantart.com/



"let's go bombing"

see full work at: http://midgetparts.deviantart.com/



"soccer mom"
see full work at:
http://midgetparts.deviantart.com/


If you've enjoyed this stuff as much as we have...support him. Below are a couple of sites that can help you do that. Check it out.

http://midgetparts.blogspot.com/

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300074592302


Monday, January 29, 2007

KKKravitz


Mild form of slavery? Probably.
Cheap tube socks? You bet!
If the US government has done their job, then you think that humans are inherently tolerant people that are sometimes brainwashed by general society into racism. Wrong. Its natural to single out people that differ from us and force them to use separate bathrooms, drink from water fountains laced with LSD, and enslave the general populace to harvest cotton to be sold to the royalty in Europe.


In all reality, we're all a little racist at heart. Some more than others. Even in seemingly politically correct Hollywood, where, to the surprise of the outside world who sees Hollywood as a safe-haven for liberal ideals, racism runs rampant. Hollywood is an ocean of racist slander and intolerance. Today i'll point one of the worst lies ever to disgrace our democratic free soil: Lenny Kravitz.

Lenny Kravitz

Those sandals aren't a fashion statement.
They're all he came to America with.

They say Kravitz is jewish and black, but in reality jews and blacks CANNOT reproduce together, it is biologically impossible. Jews are actually a super race, who figured out how to disallow their genes to combine with those of certain other races, including blacks, Koreans, and Australians. This way their superior genes can carry on long into the future without fear of tainted children.
Kravitz himself was a creation of the music industry to perpetuate the
false belief jews and blacks can intermingle. In fact, Kravitz is a Russian immigrant painted black. A new, robotic voice box was inserted to his larynx to imitate the voice of a suave New Yorker that could make any woman who hadn't been sterilized by the local nuclear power plant melt.
How do I know all this? You can also look at Kravitz's lyrics, which hint at his Russian tendencies. See for yourself.

She was only seventeen
Disgusting, Kravitz.
And if you are ready He always is ready for you
Homosexuality is rampant in Russia. Even more disgusting.
He's spreading funk throughout the nations
FUNK is code for bootleg Russian vodka.

If you still aren't convinced he's Russian, buy an album by him. On the last page of each booklet included with the CD, there is a photo of Stalin, Kravitz photo-shopped next to him, arm in arm.
In communist Russia as a young man, Kravitz was the icon used by the communist regime to reinforce separationist ideas, and prove the superiority Russia had over other, so called "free" nations. Ironically enough, Kravitz was the reason the USSR collapsed.
The year was 1989. Kravitz was a young, fresh out of Moscow School of Standardized Russian Rock. He was set to perform for Russian leader Mikhail Gorbachev. As he began to play is style of generic rock and roll everyone could relate too, a bomb went off in the back of the arena. A sympathizer to one of Kravitz's competing artists, Kurt Cobain, had blown himself up over the fact Kravitz had been chosen over him to perform. This led to a chain of events that eventually led to the collapse of the Soviet Union. Don't believe all that shit about Reagan negotiating with Gorbachev. It was essentially a rock and roll revolution.
Long story short, Virgin Records picked up Kravitz off the streets of St. Petersburg and began the transformation. The US government paid Virgin to turn him into an award winning Jewish-African American rocker. It worked.
And so you have it. Lenny Kravitz: Communist Sympathizer.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Photo Show

Ok any and all Chicago residents should attend my friends opening at the Dialog Cafe on Feb 9th at 7pm. It should be cool.
The address is 6333 N. Clark (at Devon)

Lack of updates

Well Great English fans...all 5 or so of you, bad news. My graphics card has recently been acting up (blue dots on screen, sure sign of video card failure) and it finally took a shit on me and completely failed. My computer is out of commision so i will be lacking on updates, especially on the upcoming website. Im very dissapointed but im hoping the other contributors get their asses in gear (Tom, Alex, Trevor) and pick up the slack. So unless any of you want to buy me an old AGP graphics card (or prefrebly give me 1000 dollars to build a new computer), farewell for now...ill update as much as possible between my classes. I leave you with this:






Peace and Love

-Alex

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Hard Times For A Young, Straight Man In A Soap Store.

Truth be told, if you weren't already aware, I am currently employed buy a small store inside our local mall. This store sells a large assortment of soaps, lotions, creams, shampoos and conditioners, bubble baths, lip balms, loofas.......oh God, the loofas......

You get the idea. At any rate, working there sucks a really big, scabie infested asscrack. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice place. My managers are generally nice people, who don't mind if I'm a couple minutes late here and there, or if I completely fuck something up out on the floor...you know how it is, half of you people out there probably have some kind of retail experience under your belt.

Shit, I just realized i could basically drone on and on about this, but nobody has the patience to read that long of a story written by yours truly. So I'm going to make a short, accurate list of the reasons why I hate working at my job:

1.) It's a women's store. NOT a chick store. Some people think I'm lucky because I can talk to hot young babes and rub test lotions on their hands. 90% of the women that come into that store are over the age of 35. And ugly.

2.) Working at this store most likely leads many people to believe that I am gay. But in all honesty, people have thought I was gay since like 7th grade, so this really isn't any big thing.

3.) I am the only male employed at this store. Not really a big deal either, but sometimes it's overwhelming.

4.) The one thing that truly pisses me off to no end, is that any time my back is turned to a customer while I'm stocking a shelf, they get my attention by saying something along the lines of "Excuse me, miss..." DAMNIT. I'm probably going to punch the next man or woman that mistakes me for a vagina-laden being just because I work in a store that smells like one.

In the words of Charlie Brown, good grief.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Ya Heard.

This could very well be the dawn of a new era for Great English; a fantastic voyage that could only be the product of immense boredom and the mediocre life that I lead. Truth be told I'm not a good writer. Or artist. Or musician, etc. Will it stop me? I think not.

mad props to Johnny Depp.

Featured Artist: Armss

Great English represents. Let us know who you want to see featured.


Whenever we get the chance, we feature an Artist. Usually a Q&A will accompany the artwork that is shown as well as some other information. You can submit artist content/information to one of the GE Admins and they might be featured here.


Featured Artist: Armss
Full Gallery:
http://armss.deviantart.com/


"scandals"
See full work at http://armss.deviantart.com/


Q&A
Where are you from, what’s your name and how old are you?
St. Petersburg, FL, Kevin Carney, 16.

How long have you been creating art?
Umm…almost three years.

Your favorite piece?
Mine…like of mine?

Yeah, I mean plenty of your stuff gets me sexually aroused...what gets you going?
Haha, umm “we can fix it”

Awesome, ill give you a good one... if you had the chance would you kill baby Hussein?
Yes, with no doubt.

Are collages your main thing in art...do you prefer making anything else?
I like digital photo manipulation but it’s played out and I also like typography and I do some stencil work.

What else are you up to when you're not bustin’ out the collages and shit?
Parties, golf, surfing and the occasional homework assignment.

What about your mom? Are you still pissing her the fuck off?
True, I lived in 3 different houses last school year, haha.

Rad, that’s exactly what we needed. Anything else you have to say?
---


"zzzzzzzzz"


See full work at http://armss.deviantart.com/




"stuck in the middle"


Welcome to Great English




This is the official Great English blog site. Since I am too lazy to produce a web page as of now (classes started again) this is the official GEHQ. Great English is an idea that was generated by myself and a group of friends in the town of Evansville, WI. The idea pretty much lost momentum right away because we all have temporary mindsets. I want to start GE back up again and god damnit everyone better commit to this. The Great English blog will be all about random posts, drawings and any other shit myself or my friends feel like putting on here. Great English as of now has 3 main contributers: Alex A. Tom F. and Alex S. Come here if you like to enjoy yourself. Visit the GE myspace at : www.myspace.com/greatenglish. Until next time...thanks, -GEAS.